To: John Howard, Prime Minister of Australia

Given how stunningly out of touch you are with the people whom you seek to rule in so disdainful and highhanded a fashion – Howard got it wrong on racism, poll finds – would you please resign, immediately. Now that Costello is properly discredited, here’s your opportunity to pass on the baton to a Liberal with a heart, if there is such a thing on your benches. Clearly Vanstone and Ruddock sold theirs, years ago, so you’ll presumably need to look on the back benches.

Sincerely.